The Big Ole Adventures of Cougar Maine – Cougar Goes Grocery Shopping With Flair

The Saturday prior to Thanksgiving is always a busy shopping day
Maine's Grocery Store had their shelves packed, staff ready
The store was in prime condition for a banner day of shopping
Cougar knew all of this to be true and headed over to Maine's

On his way over, Cougar blasted "Big Ole Truck" to anyone and everyone
His smoke stack amplifiers were vibrating to the guitar and vocals
Cougar had the window down to listen to folks' reactions
Mostly boos, some cuss words ensued, much to Cougar's delight

Parking was scarce at Maine's, every spot meant dollar signs
So Cougar decided to find an opportune spot and block 4 spots
He parked the Big Ole Hulk Truck right over the center cross
And for good measure, kept the radio on after he shut her down

The Big Ole Truck was so loud it was like sound was bouncing off walls
Shoppers going into and out of Maine's were "treated" with his music
Cougar grabbed a cart and bunny hopped and headed into the store
Ain't you gonna shut your truck off dipshit? they asked.

And deny you fine folks with great music?  No way Berry Jerry
Cougar was bunny hopping and making a huge scene at Maine's
Cougar's Dad approached him in the vegetable aisle
The music was so loud it penetrated the walls of his office

Cougar shut that music off now, C'mon! yelled his Dad
Not until I do my holiday shoppin Dad, Cougar replied and kept walking
Cougar's Dad was furious and slammed his clipboard onto the floor
Cougar looked back at his Dad, Song is awful huh?

Cougar made a few passes around the store and then went to check out
A hot girl from Cougar's high school, Mabel, was the cashier
Cougar tried a little Cassanova act, "Hi you doing Mable darlin?
Cougar had a bunch of random items to look like he was shopping

Mabel rolled her eyes and did her job
She pushed all the items through the scanner without looking up
When she was finished with the items, she looked right at Cougar
Much better after you pay and get the hell outta her, Coug.

Cougar laughed and paid his $5.67 bill
As he was pushing his cart out of Maine's, he heard hoo-rays 
The bunny hopping continued all the way to the Big Ole Truck
Then Cougar sped off, to more cheers from the shoppers at Maine's

Stay tuned for more Big Ole Adventures of Cougar Maine, as Cougar and the Big Ole Truck attend a local baseball game, then get pulled over by Greensboro’s finest. Will Cougar turn the music down or off or turn it up and risk jail time? Tune in to find out!

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