The Big Ole Adventures of Cougar Maine – An Afternoon At The Ballpark

Cougar and the Big Ole Truck left Maine's Grocery store lot to cheers
Cougar, in his mind, knew they were cheers of joy, not derision
He hopped on I-77 and rolled his windows down 
The highway was a great place to showcase his music
A few miles up the road, Cougar spotted a busy park 
A local rec baseball game was being played
Fans had packed the bleachers and lined the fences of the field
Cougar thought it might be fun to entertain the fans
Cougar and the Big Ole Truck took the next exit and circled back
The field had a back entrance, which Cougar took to the parking lot
As with the grocery store, Cougar found a quad of spaces and parked
Center cut, shining bright, proud of ya girl, as Cougar parked
He reached down and turned the volume knob all the way to the right
"Big Ole Truck" was blaring through the smoke stack amps
People stopped and turned around to see what the commotion was
Cougar waved with one hand out his driver side window
The Big Ole Truck was so loud, the pitcher on the mound froze
The dugouts cleared to see what the heck noise they were hearing
Cougar casually stepped out of the Big Ole Truck and waved
He placed his hat on his head and saluted folks with the tip of a hat
The game was paused as Cougar walked towards the bleachers
Cougar's older brother Caleb yelled over to Cougar
Shut your fucking music off dickhead, screamed Caleb
Caleb was the field umpire and began to walk off the field
Hey watch your language out there, yelled one of the Dads
Yeah, Cougar, chanted, watch your fucking language Big Bro
Caleb walked right over to the fence and reiterated his request
Get that Big Ole Truck the fuck outta here now Dickhead Loser
At this point, the fans all started yelling at Cougar and Caleb
The home plate umpire, a town police officer, texted his station
"get a squad car down here asap, Cougar Maine, Big Ole Truck"
Cougar started laughing and then tipped his hat to his brother
This umpire sucks, I would fire him, yelled Cougar
Caleb try to reach over the fence and grab Cougar but missed
I'm outta here y'all, enjoy your fucking game Caleb Shitbox
Cougar left with a swagger, knowing he had pissed off many
As he walked towards his Big Ole Truck, he got hissed and booed
Shut that shit off Cougar, they yelled, its too loud and it sucks
Cougar just tipping his hat and bowing
Then hopped in the Big Ole Truck and sped off out of the parking lot
Not even two streets away from the ball field, Cougar was stopped
In front of him, across the street, two police cars blocked the road
Cougar and the Big Ole Truck got quiet
Turn off the truck and let me see your hands, NOOOOWWWW! the cops said
Cougar obliged and put his hands of the the driver's window
Then the cops ordered him out of the truck, slowly, hands up
Then the cops walked towards Cougar, tasers drawn
Cougar and the Big Ole Truck were certainly getting a lot of attention
One of the cops was Cougar's former HS shop teacher Mr. Braddock
What the heck are you doing Meat?  He called everyone Meat
50 disturbing the peace complaints Cougar, really?  
What are we going to do about this? asked now Officer Braddock
Sorry Mr. Braddock, I just wanted to entertain folks
I got this here Big Ole Truck, I wrote a song, it kicks ass
Cougar was honest and Mr Braddock put his taser down
If I hear one more complaint, I'm shutting down the Big Ole Truck
I understand Mr Braddock, so no more music?
Braddock put his taser up and pointed it at the Big Ole Truck
If I hear another peep out of the Big Ole Truck, Bang!!!
He pretended to shoot the Big Ole Truck

Stay tuned for more Big Ole Adventures of Cougar Maine, as Cougar quietly drives back to the junkyard to seek council from Bucky Chase and gets a special assignment that will change his life. More Cougar Maine antics and adventures coming soon…

8Unassisted Cartoons

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The RIBBE is The Rhode Island Baseball Experience. It is promoting the game of baseball here in the great state of Rhode Island for the entire baseball world to see. The RIBBE is positive stories, photos, videos, and responsible social media posts. The RIBBE is an information resource for families looking for an AAU team or a summer camp or a great place to buy a first baseman’s mitt. The RIBBE is a network of coaches, tournament directors, parents, leagues, and baseball junkies whose passion of the game of baseball is unquestioned. I believe that providing expert analysis, information and directions to ballfields, and coaching advice from some of the top RI baseball minds will help promote the game of baseball here in RI to a whole new level.

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